Spiritual Autobiography – Ages 59-64 (Part Eight)

July 14, 2008

In 1998, I returned to the Antelope Center for a program in which one contemplates the four directions while backpacking through the Wyoming High Desert.  I can best convey this experience and the lessons it has brought me by sharing during the next several weeks on this blog some of the writing I did in my journal.

8/24/98

I am sitting in the shade of a giant rock in the Wyoming High Desert. I am thinking about vulnerability. Ninety percent—no, maybe ninety-nine percent—of all human effort is directed toward overcoming and denying vulnerability. There’s nothing wrong with taking steps to overcome vulnerability. I would not be here had I not, for the past two days, liberally rubbed my arms and face with #30 sun block. Even as I now take a pull from my canteen, I recognize the body’s need for food and water. Exhaustion has made me realize the body’s need for sleep. So I’ve taken all these steps to keep the body going. But still I know that the body is vulnerable 

I know also that the mind is vulnerable. Within my own family I’ve seen elderly people develop such mental confusion that they cannot take care of themselves. As I see the vulnerability of the body I turn to the mind. As I see the vulnerability of the mind, I turn to the soul—yet my inner teachers say that the soul is not yet the core of invulnerability that I am seeking—that I need to go deeper—or maybe “higher” (words betray us here} to the god-self, the inner, creative, divine essence. 

Each level of existence, from God on down, creates the level below. With each creation there is increasing vulnerability.

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