“Don’t Try So Hard”

July 12, 2010

My first experience of erotic massage was in 1988, in a workshop led by Joseph Kramer. I remember him saying that each experience of erotic massage was different and we needed to accept each experience for what it was.

Recently, I’ve been part of a couple of sessions of erotic massage in workshop situations. They were led by teachers trained by students of Joseph – not by Joseph himself.

In these sessions, I’ve found myself being exhorted and harangued to breathe harder and build up more energy. The last time I was in this situation, I heard an inner voice saying, “Don’t try so hard.” I was being told that I was “in the groove,” “in the vortex” (there are other terms). Whatever happened would be right and would require no effort on my part.

The purpose of erotic massage as taught by Joseph (and other teachers as well) is to go into erotic trance. You may go into this state at point in the massage. Once you’re there, your breath will come without conscious will. The energy will build without effort. The big draw will deepen the trance state. Attempting to get a person to go deeper by telling him to breathe harder or work harder will be counterproductive.

When giving an erotic massage leading to a big draw, let your intuition guide you. A few quiet words might be necessary. You will know when a person is in erotic trance. They will breath easily, and you won’t need to say anything until it’s time to guide them into the big draw.

Practitioners of erotic massage know that after the big draw it is important to do nothing that will pull a person out of his experience. It’s just as important before the big draw.

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