Internal Dialogue in the Circle of Life

February 21, 2014

In December, my thoughts returned to the story I had recorded in July, my visit to the Circle of Life. This time, I focused on a dialogue between myself and the spirit I called “Brother.” This is the first time my internal dialogue turned to my personal problems. As I have no wish to discuss private relationships and conflicts concerning people who might not want the details of our relationships and conflicts made public, I’ve edited some sections of this internal dialog.
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I have returned to the circle of life. I have stripped naked and entered the circle. I see my brother. He is also naked, and he acknowledges me. He bids me sit there. “Would you like purification?” he asks.

“Yes,” I say, “and I really have come to talk to you.”

“Okay, let’s do a purification and talk,” and he begins to wipe my body with a damp cloth. I know it is moistened with rainwater because he has told me that, and he washes all of my body that he can reach…. He reaches down and washes my feet. He momentarily has me stand up so he can wash my buttocks – part of the body he couldn’t reach while I was sitting – and then he has me sit again.

“Are you sinless?” I ask.

“Of course. So are you.”

“Are you an angel?”

“Some people would call me that because I’m a spiritual being, but I’ve never had wings. Wings are only symbolic, anyway, for spiritual beings. They show that we are not bound by time or space.”

“I can see not being bound by space, but not being bound by time confuses me. “How do you know what you’ve done and what you might have done?”

“We are pure potential. There is no difference. What we do and what we might have done are all the same except when we enter into your world, and we know when we enter into your world we are in time and therefore must react within time.”

“Can you go back in time in our world?”

“No, because that is not part of the reality of your world. So we cannot go back to correct errors back in time to make them nonexistent, but we can help you and help God through the Holy Spirit correct errors that you have made.”

“Do you recognize the errors that I have made?”

“Only if you ask for help in recognizing them.”

“Am I making errors regarding my relationship with R.?”

“Yes, you need to see him as sinless.”

“Is he making mistakes?”

“That is a judgment.”

“Is he being foolish?”

“You are making judgments that you do not need to make.”

“Then I will relinquish those judgments. Help me to relinquish them.”

He picks up the cloth and begins to wash around my face and my chest. “Feel this purification of your heart. Let your heart be part of what is going on….”

“When I see J. having a long conversation with R. and I think they are creating things … [that affect me] it worries me because I feel we don’t have collective wisdom and I feel that there will be duplication of effort.”

And my brother says, “All fear is the opposite of love.”

“The Course in Miracles says, ‘I trust my brothers who are one with me.’ so my lack of trust is a judgment … and I choose to release that fear. Help me to release that fear so that I may be without judgment. This is getting to the crux of the matter,” I say to my brother. I look into his eyes. “Help me. I do not need this judgment. I know I do not need this judgment. I can see him as sinless.”

“But you do need to ask for what you want and clarify what your needs are.?

“We need to have out in the open everything that is done, and I don’t know how to ask for this without putting a judgment on it.”

“Then don’t ask. Simply ask, ‘Is there anything you want to update about discussions you have been having ….?’

“I feel that I have some resolution on this, [and] that I can ask that question without judgment – without putting a judgment on anyone’s behavior…. Help me to live in this world without judgment and still bringing about correction of errors; and that is the miracle that I ask for, to bring a correction of error without judgment.”
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The internal dialogue ended at this point, as I felt a resolution of the conflicts I had been having.

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