From May through December of 2013, I posted a series of articles created using active imagination centered on the figure of an explorer. I have recently been led to return to this type of meditation. The following is another episode that I recorded in 2013. If you have not read the previous postings with this theme, or if you don’t remember them, I suggest checking out my page, “Fantasy/Fables/Fiction,” where you will find links to all the postings with the theme of the explorer in chronological order. You probably find the series more interesting if you read the posts in the order that I created them.

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I found it difficult to sleep that night. So much had happened. I felt very good, very positive; and yet there was so much that was confusing. Not the least of this was how the healer, Matta, knew so much about me. She seemed to know everything, and I wondered about things that she hadn’t said, seeing things that she hadn’t pointed out, she hadn’t dwelled upon.

Did she know my sexual orientation? Did she know my feelings toward other people, people I disliked. Somehow, I felt she did, but that that didn’t matter. I recalled a verse of Scripture where Jesus knew things about a woman that he met and she recognized that. Was Matta in some way another Jesus?

I wondered what kind of religion she had. At least it was one that taught people to be loving; because, of all else, I felt Matta was really loving – and by that I mean accepting, allowing me to be who I was and who I was not, not wanting me to be something different. I felt that I should go and look at Scriptures – Christian Scriptures – read more about Jesus; and yet I had no interest in conventional religion, and somehow something was saying this is not about conventional religion; this is about a spiritual man, the medicine man, who gave me the drugs that eliminated the parasites after a bout of diarrhea and delirium and who knows what. How did he know I had the parasites? My guide had referred to them as evil spirits. There was something I wasn’t quite seeing, and I wasn’t sure what it was.

I wondered if Matta could see evil spirits, if she thought of disease in that way. So I waited. At one point I almost called the Healing Center to break my appointment, but I knew I could not do that. Somehow this was exactly what I needed.

I was spending a lot of time now, as I had promised myself I would. thinking about the direction of my life, where I was going, what I wanted to accomplish – something I knew I could not do in the jungle, in the highlands, anywhere outside of the big city. While I was exploring I couldn’t really keep my attention, my focus, on internal problems; and something said “you must be an explorer of your own mind and accept this without question.” But still wondering what it meant to be an explorer of my own mind. I could do that just as well in my hometown in California or in El Paso or even across the border in Mexico. I wondered if it changed that much in fifty years.

If you’ve been following my blog, you know that I have a Vimeo channel called Erotic Imagination, where I focus on videos that use nudity in staged and filmed performances. As I view them, I try to see what artistic truth is being presented or reinforced by the naked performers.

In 2012, a video by Dimitris Papaioannou, led me to discover that he was performing in Troy, New York. My reaction to his work is recorded on a blog post, “Acting as One

A week ago Saturday, was only the second time, that I’ve attended an event after seeing videos on Vimeo – this time after seeing “Morte Portus Vitae”

and “Bushwick Coal Mind,” –

two productions of a group called “Wild Torus.”

When I searched for “Wild Torus” on the internet, I found comments like these:

“All I could see were a number of sweaty, naked bodies covered in stickiness and powder.”

“I couldn’t distinguish between men, women, and blow-up dolls.”

“Let me tell you, “wild” in @wildtorus is a serious understatement. These guys are bat-sh*t crazy,.”

“I decided if I stayed one more moment I risked tumbling head-first into a DMT-fueled trip back to whatever the hell regrettable things I was doing at festivals as a teenager. And I wasn’t about to strip, which made things slightly awkward– clothing wasn’t optional here, it was seriously frowned upon.”

On the evening I attended, all of the spectators except two kept all their clothes on. One female performer was naked at the end, but no man’s cock was ever visible.

The event consisted of a number of acts crammed into a small space with only a few chairs – most of the audience standing or sitting on the floor. Wild Torus was scheduled for the last act of the evening. This evening, it wasn’t their act that took the prize for being “bat-sh*t crazy.” That came earlier, when bare-breasted Phoebe Novak, carrying a violin and two violas, stepped on a large pice of black plastic that had been put down to serve as her stage. From a box, she produced a number of pieces of broken mirror. She then got spectators to tape these broken shards to her bare skin.

Woman having fragments of mirror taped to her bare skin.

As she bowed her violin, and later the violas in turn, one of the pieces of broken mirror poked into her bare breast. I found myself wondering if the pain in the music was a direct result of this painful act of bowing or if she was using this pain to stimulate emotional pain of previous experiences. Suddenly, she called an end to her performance, gather her stringed instruments from audience members who had been plucking them, and moved into the adjoining back room of Torus Porta. There were a few drops of blood on the floor.

Most of the acts focused more on sonic phenomenon rather than visual, until the final piece – the work of Wild Torus itself. This started with the performance artist Rudi Salpietra singing with Marc Mosteirin accompanying him on a Korg keyboard. When I asked Marc afterwards if they had rehearsed, he said that it was entirely improvised, but that he had a close relationship with Rudi that helped make the song work. After the song, translucent plastic was rolled down on two sides of the performance space. This made it difficult to see the performers covering each other with poster paint.

Woman with paint, audience behind plastic

I moved out from behind the plastic to see better and later stripped to my briefs to let my body be covered with paint.

What is there to say about all of this? It’s hard to know. What I can say is that I see in Wild Torus performers taking risks, inviting each other to take risks and inviting the audience to take risks. Do these risks help us know who we are? Do they help us be more truly what we are meant to be? Only by taking the risks can I find out.

In the end, we were left to clean ourselves up as best we could. If I had designed the ritual I would have added a section where the performers and those audience members who were covered with paint clean each other up.

The performers of Wild Torus are now in Europe. When they return, I hope to further my exploration of their brand of wildness and to report on that exploration in this blog.

Cosmology in Art

May 7, 2016

Last summer, I had three three small watercolors on display at Saratoga Arts. Each measures seven by seven inches and is in a ten-by-ten-inch frame. All of the paintings, drawings and photos in the exhibition were in ten-by-ten frames in keeping with the theme of the exhibition “10 X 10 = 100” celebrating the one hundredth anniversary of the chartering of Saratoga Springs.

The three paintings are part of a series I call “Windows of the Soul.” They are paintings of images that have come to me in meditation, though the images have evolved during the course of making preliminary sketches and the final painting. I work with a cosmology that regards the universe as agapic – coming from love – as noetic – supporting thought – as morphogenetic – and as an electromagnetic-gravitational space-time continuum. Out of love comes thought, out of thought comes life, and out of life comes the world of matter, energy, space and time.

Warm-colored painting with curved geometric forms

Windows of the Soul, One

The first painting relates to the noetic world, with shapes that come from ten arcs.

Rays of creation from lower right into the created world in hte left andupper part of the painting.

Windows of the Soul, Two

In the second painting the noetic world, represented by streams of light coming from the lower right, gives rise to the morphogenetic – the world of life in the left and upper part of the painting.

Painting of plant=like form

Windows of the Soul, Three

The third paining represents something alive, something coming out of the morphogenetic world manifested as matter and energy in space and time.

Ancient City in the Desert with energy Pattern in the Sky

Windows of the Soul, Four

A fourth painting, not in the exhibition, shows a town or city in a desert, with something in the sky that represents the agapic-noetic-morphogenetic expressing itself through the human creation of the city.

Since the exhibit at Saratoga Arts, I have completed three more paintings in the series.

Forms suggesting hairless flesh

Windows of the Soul, Five

“Windows of theSoul, Five” expresses a morphogenetic field in abstract forms that have something of the quality of human flesh.

A city-scape with tall building surrounded by shorter buildings

Windows of the Soul, Six

“Windows of the Soul, Six” continues the theme of “Windows of the Soul, Four” but references a more modern city.

Sci-fi image of torus what could be a space shi at a conical dock

Windows of the Soul, Seven

“Windows of the Soul, Seven” has of a sci-fi element. Thus Windows, Four”, “Six,” and “Seven” together represent past, present and future.

“Windows of the Soul, Eight” and “Nine” are still works in progress. When they are completed, they will appear on this blog.

 

Demythologizing Jesus

April 19, 2016

Dictionary.com defines “demythologize” as follows: “to divest of mythological or legendary attributes or forms, as in order to permit clearer appraisal and under-standing.” In reading the Gospel of John I find that I can have a clearer understanding of what are purported to be miracles if I ask what the probably truth is behind the miracles.

An example of this is found in the first ten verses if the second chapter of John’s Gospel:

  1. And the third day there was a marriage in Cana of Galilee; and the mother of Jesus was there:
  2. And both Jesus was called, and his disciples, to the marriage.
  3. And when they wanted wine, the mother of Jesus saith unto him, They have no wine.
  4. Jesus saith unto her, Woman, what have I to do with thee? mine hour is not yet come.
  5. His mother saith unto the servants, Whatsoever he saith unto you, do it.
  6. And there were set there six waterpots of stone, after the manner of the purifying of the Jews, containing two or three firkins apiece.
  7. Jesus saith unto them, Fill the waterpots with water. And they filled them up to the brim.
  8. And he saith unto them, Draw out now, and bear unto the governor of the feast. And they bare it.
  9. When the ruler of the feast had tasted the water that was made wine, and knew not whence it was: (but the servants which drew the water knew;) the governor of the feast called the bridegroom,
  10. And saith unto him, Every man at the beginning doth set forth good wine; and when men have well drunk, then that which is worse: but thou hast kept the good wine until now.

Jesus grew up in Nazareth. Tradition tells us that his father was a carpenter, and probably the family didn’t have much money. It’s quite possible that at times the family didn’t have wine to bless and drink on the Sabbath; so Jesus, being a practical kind of guy, would take some water and bless it and the family would drink it as their Sabbath wine.

Wine was not only something used in Sabbath devotions, it was an important part of the Jewish marriage ritual, as it is today. So when Mary reported that they had no wine, she was saying that the ceremony couldn’t be performed. But Jesus was reluctant to do in public what he had done at home. He said he was not ready to assume the role of a spiritual leader.

Mary ignored this and simply told the servants to do what Jesus said, so Jesus had them fill six waterpots, blessed the water, and told those assembled to use this water as wine for their ceremony.

Here we have a compelling picture of Jesus as a man who identified with the poor. Not being able to afford wine was no barrier to God’s grace. His own family’s poverty had opened him up to the truth that it was the spirit and not an ancient ritual that brought blessing to everyone.

Gustavo Solar

March 29, 2016

In July of last year, I put a comment in the “Shout Box” of my Vimeo channel, “Erotic Imagination,”  about the videos of Gustavo Solar.  Since then, Solar has posted four additional videos, and I’ve added all of them to my channel, as they are all examples of a fertile erotic imagination.  The most recent, “Visionado Beso Negro Solar” (Google translates this “Black Kiss Solar Viewing”) has short excerpts from a number of performance pieces he has done.   Longer versions of some of his performance pieces can also be seen on Vimeo.
Cuerpo Eclipsado2
The 2012 performance, “Cuerpo Eclipsado,” in which Solar is penetrated anally by a dildo-wearing woman, elicited this comment:  “Whoaa!! It must have been difficult, painful & very brave to share that kind of intimacy in front of all those people. … It got MY attention. It was also captured on video beautifully, sometimes those kind of things can be embarrassing or ugly to see in porn, this wasn’t pornographic at all, and it was beautiful in its own way.”

In a manifesto presented at the Festival Internacional de Performance, (Quito. Ecuador. 2015) Solar stated three times, “Un artista de performance debe amar profundamente a otro artista de performance antes de morir. [A performance artist must deeply love another performance artist before his death.]”  Could “Cuerpo Eclipsado” be a documentation of that love?

The latest entry on Solar’s blog is 24 July 2015.  In it he describes this posting as documenting his final project in qualifying for the Academic Degree of Bachelor of Arts majoring in Visual Arts. The project consisted of riding around the School of Arts of Las Encinas on the top of a car and covering his naked body with the Chilean flag.

After reading this I wondered, “Now that he has received his BA, what’s next for him?” I’ve discovered that he has a Facebook page with links to other sites that document his work – such as El Archivo en la Creacion Visual – and that he is scheduled to perform at the Zuhause Festival, which is being held from April 21 through 24 in Buenos Aires.  For this festival he will be doing a performance in his own home.  I hope that he will document what he does on his blog and certainly on Vimeo.

Visioning a Just Society

August 6, 2015

At a resent Quaker meeting I attended, someone mentioned that a set of principles for a just society, called “Foundations of a True Social Order” was adopted by the Quakers in Britain in 1918.  The speaker hoped that Quakers would come up with a new set of principles next year when the political parties are issuing their platforms.  Today I meditated on this and came up with a set of problems that any principles of a just society must address.  These include:

    1. Lack of integrity in those responsible for governing
    2. Differences in race, religion, social stats, sexual preferences and all other areas that divide mankind – and the exploitation of these differences for selfish ends
    3. Climate change and its far-reaching effects
    4. Diminishing supplies of fossil fuel
    5. Our response to those who would use violence to gain political, social or economic ends
    6. An economic system which concentrates wealth and power in the hands of a few people
    7. How to produce that change of consciousness that will make a just society a reality

Right now I am working with other Quakers to come up with programs in which people of all faiths and no faith can come together to envision a just society and work on the principles that such a society would have.  Watch this blog for further information.

Last Saturday, we took another step in our development of the Pavilion of Imagination at Easton Mountain. My friend Dave hooked up a solar panel, controller, battery and convertor. When he clicked a switch, we had light.

This has led me to think about my own vision concerning the Pavilion of Imagination: as a place where men might take workshops, such as “Drawing What You Love” (described in my post of February 18) – as a place where they might draw and paint from their imagination – as a place where they might create video that would be part of my Vimeo channel, “Erotic Imagination“…. This is some of the creative activity I’ve envisioned for the Pavilion of Imagination.

But I realized, as I thought about the event of that day, that this project has been part of another vision I’ve had – that of Easton Mountain reducing its carbon foot-print nearly to zero. Carbon foot-print is “the total sets of greenhouse gas emissions caused by an organization, event, product or person” (Wikipedia). In practice, it is used to indicate the theoretical amount of carbon from fossil fuel that each person and institution consumes. We in the United States have a very high carbon foot print. Other countries have taken steps to reduce theirs. A jungle native has a carbon footprint close to zero.

My own involvement in efforts to create a world where everyone has a reduced carbon footprint has waxed and waned. I’ve attended workshops, marched in the People’s Climate March, posted on this blog, written for a Quaker publication, and registered for the coming Parliament of the World’s Religions, which I hope will make a strong statement on the necessity of combating climate change.

In the seventeenth century, Quakers were thought of as strange people – and we might find those Quakers strange today. They addressed people with “thee” and “thou,” words reserved for close friends and servants; they wore simple clothes; they refused to take oaths, pay tithes to the established church, or to haggle over prices – and with these simple actions they were a major force in bringing about freedom of religion, equality before the law, and integrity in business. Many Quakers today look to civil disobedience as a way to change the direction of society. Within my own lifetime they were part of sit-ins in segregated southern restaurants.

The problems of today may need new practices that will lead the world to a reduced carbon footprint. What will these practices be? They may be something as simple as the practice of keeping a hat on was in 1650. But I find myself wondering if we will find these practices before humanity suffers from a drastic climate change that could lead to the extinction of the human race.

Solar energy for the Pavilion of Imagination is one tiny step – but it’s part of my vision for a restored planet. Here are groups I’ve joined on Facebook that relate to my vision of a restored planet.

Please share your vision on Facebook, on your own blog, or as a comment to this blog.

In my February 18 posting, I described a ninety-minute workshop I did during Easton Mountain’s Winter Gay Spirit Camp. The last paragraph of this posting described a possible sequel workshop – Erotic Imagination. That idea has been expanded to include all types of imagination. The workshop Infinite Imagination will be part of the June 26-28 Summer Splash weekend at Easton Mountain.

You can help me create this workshop by doing a simple preparatory exercise. In this exercise you will create a set of instructions for you or someone else in the workshop to follow. Here’s how to do it.

Write three imperative sentences or three paragraphs each beginning with an imperative sentence. The first sentence or paragraph should begin with the word “Contemplate”; the second, with the word “Visualize”; and the third, with the word, “Express.” The third sentence or paragraph should not specify a mode of expression – like writing, drawing of movement – but rather focus on what should be expressed. It might simply be, “Express what you visualized,” or “Express how you feel when…”

I will transfer your three sentences or paragraphs to a five-by-seven index card. In an upcoming workshop, participants will be asked to select a card at random from all answers submitted and use the process of contemplate … visualize … express to create a drawing, painting, song, movement piece, poem, essay, sculpture or collage. Participants will have the option of working with their own card.

To make it easy for you to take part in this project, I’ve create a form for you to

  1. express your interest in this work and
  2. send me the results of your doing this preliminary exercise.

Click here to participate in the preparatory exercise. Your imagination will contribute to our work, even if you can’t be at Easton Mountain, June 26-28.

Drawing What You Love

February 18, 2015

Eighteen guys responded to this invitation to participate in a ninety-minute workshop:

Drawing What You Love

Small cocks, large cocks, thin cocks, fat cocks, tight balls, dangling balls – we love them all. This is an opportunity for you to have fun creating simple line drawings of male sex organs. You’ll start with reference photos and move on to drawing real cocks. You’ll have the opportunity to have another man draw your cock. Some people think of drawing as a kind of meditation, so this workshop can be considered a meditation with paper, a drawing implement, and a subject that holds your attention.

I had the men at two tables, with two easels at one end of each table. After some preliminary drawings, I asked for four men to stand at the easels to draw each other’s cocks, while the men at the tables drew the cocks of the standing men. Since the men at the easels would have to at least take their pants off, I suggested that they would be more comfortable if everyone stripped – which they did. Almost every man took a turn at the easels.

There was quite a range of background in the graphic arts, including one man who was an art teacher. I told the experienced men to ignore my instructions. For those with little or no instruction I encouraged them to make simple line drawings and to have fun.

I asked the men to select their best drawings. Here are some they selected.

Cock1

Cock2

Cock3

Cock4

 

All the responses at the end of the workshop were positive. Some said it was too short. Others wanted more evaluation of their work, but no one said they were bored or didn’t have fun.

I’ll be doing this workshop again at some upcoming weekends and week-long camps at Easton Mountain. I’m also contemplating a sequel workshop, “Erotic Imagination,” that will include other areas of expression – such as writing, music and performance – in addition to visual art, with each participant choosing which area(s) will be his focus. I’m in the process of setting up a trial run of this work, possibly at the March 20-23 retreat for gay men, “Spring Awakening.” I’m also exploring the possibility of offering an opportunity for women to come to Easton Mountain to create something from their erotic imaginations. If you’re interested in being a part of this work, please fill out the “Erotic Imagination Interest Form.”

Dispair and Hope

February 1, 2015

I’ve recently received two emails. One brought me despair, the other hope. The first was a review of “American Sniper,” a move that made a record-breaking $105.3 million over the Martin Luther King Jr. holiday long weekend. The reviewer, Chris Hedges, describes it as a movie that “lionizes the most despicable aspects of U.S. society—the gun culture, the blind adoration of the military, the belief that we have an innate right as a “Christian” nation to exterminate the “lesser breeds” of the earth, a grotesque hypermasculinity that banishes compassion and pity, a denial of inconvenient facts and historical truth, and a belittling of critical thinking and artistic expression.”

The second email was from the team organizing the 2015 Parliament of the World’s Religions. Like Hedges, they also noted that “hate, anger and fear is rising in our country,” but their response is that “people of love must rise with stronger relationships.” The organizers are calling for “a joint declaration on this critical issue before we all make commitments to what we will be doing to counter it.”

My own feeling is that the Dalai Lama (scheduled to speak at the Parliament) alone cannot convince the world to give up hatred. Pope Francis alone cannot do it. No single religious leader can. But perhaps the collective voice of all the religious leaders of the world can.

That’s why I’m one of the 3500 already registered for the Parliament. That’s why I encourage you to check out the Parliament and then go within and look at how God may be leading you. If it’s to Salt Lake City for the Parliament in October, I look forward to seeing you there.

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